Reality Check

So my previous blog resolutions were actually grounded in reality. Yesterday, I went to the doctor thinking that I was being overly-paranoid to discover that my body is transitioning a little to soon to deliver The Baby.

In the morning I had some fluid discharge that was a bit odd. Empowered by my first child birth class and the lesson on pre-term labor and your water breaking, I called my midwife. I felt like I was being paranoid but grounded myself in the words of the birthing class teacher: "We would rather have you come in and realize there is nothing wrong than have you wait until there is a crisis." Okay. Let's check it out.

My midwife practice was able to fit me in so I casually headed in, thinking they would check me over and I'd be done in less than an hour. Oh, how that quickly changed. On the examination table, the midwife touched my belly and said "You are having a contraction." WHAT?! I wasn't feeling anything but, to the touch, my belly was solid as a flexed muscle. "That's a contraction?!" I was bewildered. She asked if I had been having these and I had to instantly confess that I had no freakin' clue. How could this entire muscle flex and me not notice? My embarrassed paranoia instantly became anxiety.

She then did a full 'ole exam (ah, the joy of a speculum) to tell me that my cervix was slightly thin and slightly open. I don't want my cervix thinning or opening for weeks as this means my body is getting ready to let the baby out. Deep breaths. FUCK. Sweaty palms.

One last test revealed that the fluid was not amniotic fluid. So my water had not broken. This was a huge 'victory' as, once your water breaks, you have to deliver within 24 hours as there is a risk of infection. Sigh. Breathe.

My midwife started asking me about what else was going on. Was I experiencing a lot of stress? Am I drinking a TON of water? Do I feel exhausted. YES YES YES. Shit. SHIT. SHIT. Having contractions at this stage in my pregnancy is normal (aka Braxton-Hicks) and my water has not broken. But I do not need my body readying itself for birth. Yes? Oh freaking God YES.

Finally, they hooked me up to a monitor to check the baby's activity as well as my contractions. They put two probes on my belly and gave me a little button. Every time I felt the baby move, I pressed the button. Meanwhile, on the wall, a little machine cranked out a print-out that looks like a lie-detector sheet. The machine has a speaker so I could hear not only the baby's heartbeat but the SWOOSH and WHIRL as he/she moved around. I was monitored for about 30 minutes. This time, alone, staring at the ceiling, allowed me to practice relaxing. Nothing like being told that stress is causing not-so-good-things to happen and then being stressed out about it. As the Hubby says, I have to find my Happy Place (Happy Gilmore, anyone?). So I spent the 30 minutes pushing the little button and crafting my happy place. It needs some work but its a good start. The monitoring revealed that baby is great - moving lots with a solid heartbeat. But it also revealed that I am having Braxton-Hicks contractions a little too frequently. Again, I did not feel any of these which they told me is actually fine because that means the contractions aren't strong. But.....frequency is still not good.

Three hours later I went home with orders to: 1) reduce stress immediately 2) relax and take it easy and 3) monitor my contractions. I immediately resigned from the county commissioner campaign and began a new, more indulgent approach to being pregnant. Of course, not feeling the Braxton-Hicks contractions makes #3 a bit difficult. So I will be molesting my belly to see what is going on. Squishy belly = good; taut, hard belly = bad. The afternoon was truly epic. I probably needed a good, swift kick in the pants to take life down a couple of notches. I definitely feel guilty. But I also am so fucking glad I went in. I will do anything to make sure this little munchkin is as happy and healthy as possible.

Happy, stress-free thoughts, here I come!