I.Am.Pregnant.

Yupper, I am pregnant. My blog has suffered and, as people have told me that they actually read my blog, I figured it was time to announce in this forum. Hurrah! Besides, being pregnant is pretty interesting.

So, as if the trip to Vietnam wasn't exciting enough, we found out that I was pregnant. Ain't nothing like taking a home pregnancy test in 'Nam. Perhaps I should have paid attention to the fact that I still hadn't gotten my period, my boobs felt 'weird' and my stomach was 'off.' My reaction was more of a "Oh Shit." while the Hubby instantly glowed with excitement. The Plan had been to start trying after Vietnam. I guess the haphazard use of condoms caught up with us a little bit earlier. So, as much as Vietnam will be memorable for being an incredible place with great people, it will truly be remembered as our kiddos first trip abroad.

The first trimester lived up to all the books, magazines and Internet sites say: it sucked. I was not puking but I definitely felt pretty shitty. I was queasy most of the time and my brain truly turned to mush. I was in a cloud of malaise. At work, I purposefully did not answer the phone because I felt that everything that came out of my mouth was mush. I waited until I had a brief window of 'brain functioning' and returned calls. Otherwise, I laid low. Really low. The constipation and flatulence also added to a total lack of sexiness. Nothing like tooting while you feel bloated and gross! I also truly struggled to accept the fact that I was pregnant. I am a planner. I have systems and lists and notes. Monumental decisions are not made lightly and are proactively timed and planned. This pregnancy thing was quite unexpected and my brain and heart struggled to truly 'believe.'

Now, as I sit with my pants unbuttoned and my boobs spilling out of my shirt, I am a believer. Again, true to all the pregnancy literature, I hit week 12 and felt a million times better. The Hubby even noticed that I started talking again. How delightful! I still have moments and days when I feel 'off,' but overall I am digging the pregnancy. It truly is fascinating to feel and watch your body change and to know THERE IS A BABY IN THERE. Its also kinda freaky....like Aliens or something. Hearing the heartbeat really confirms that there is a life in there. Now, at 15 weeks, I am trying to make the most of this time I have been feeling good and getting too big to do a lot of stuff.

Outside of a sense of euphoria, it definitely sucks to see the scale creep upward. While I know my body is fulfilling its purpose, its hard to combat the societal/life psychosis of 'becoming fat.' The area between my shoulders and thighs is completely different and its hard to embrace it all being larger. I am eager to get a big 'ole belly but does my butt really need to grow?! My waistline is gone. Gone, I tell ya! And, as much as I feel 'huge' now, I have been reminded that my body is really only just beginning to grow. Oof.

Wacko pregnancy stuff:
- My feet are bigger. Apparently the hormones that eventually allow my bones to move and allow the baby to come out, affect your feet. My feet feel 'pinched' in many of my work shoes and I have resorted to a) no shoes if possible or b) very very comfortable, cushy shoes.
- Sex is different. Way different. Things are more sensitive...
- Yes, I have cravings but I am not sending The Hubby to Wendy's at 3am. All things dairy are delightful - yogurt, milk, cottage cheese, cheese, ice cream.