I've read that when you are pregnant you are basically a toxic wasteland of hormones. This leads to morning / day-long sickness as well as overall lethargy. It also makes you INSANE. My emotions are on such a large roller coaster that I am literally removing myself from human contact today.
Last night, father-in-law and sister-in-law were in town. Generally, it can be a struggle to host them (a subject for another post). Yet when the father-in-law dumped a big 'ole vat of orange Chinese sauce across our white carpet, I nearly lost control. I wasn't sure if I was going to punch a wall or him or shower a wave of very loud, very angry explitives at this man. The rage was surprising but very real. I literally took three deep breaths and started to clean it up. I could not talk to the man for the rest of the evening. However, I was in tears watching Marketa's Oscar acceptance speech for the song, "Falling Slowly," just a few minutes later.
What the fuck?
This morning, I snapped at the Hubby and then teared up as I apologized to him and then raged again during the drive to work.
My common course for these pregnancy-related moments is to Google. So, I Googled "pregnancy and insanity." There are 10+ pages of results plus many a listserv conversation. Wow. So I am not alone! But, feeling this wacky certainly does suck. Its also very surreal because I know that I am really not that mad or not that sad or emotional. With the Hubby, I just kept apologizing "I am sorry I am so crazy. I am sorry." I don't know what else to do except to tell him to a) leave me the FUCK alone or b) hold me while I weep.
Oof.
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The stories of a city girl turned country
3 comments:
At least you can blame it on something and you know that it's temporary... in real life you are a charming, sociable and pleasant woman! Yeah?
I firmly believe there should be no apologizing. You are housing that man's future heir. You'll see soon enough that this housing will get crowded and very uncomfortable. No apologies needed on your side. In fact, he should apologize to YOU and get you ice cream.
yes, while temporary, it all is unnerving. i was reading a pregnancy book and started crying...it wasn't sad or anything. then, in realizing that i was crying, i started laughing because it seemed so absurd. i did, however, have some ice cream and pie and felt much better!
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