The multitude of buildings on our property led to big and mighty dreams from the moment we moved in. The garage could house both cars (oh my!) plus all of the motorcycles and other manly toys. The workrooms, with their sketchy cupboards, scary corners and looming spider webs, could be transformed to an art studio or apartment or office! But, alas, it was the chicken coop that quickly drew my hubby in and created the path to realize his farmboy fantasy. Yes, yes, our neighbors own chickens and ducks and cows and pigs and horses...but they are all at a convenient distance with no liability or cost. His persistence paid off and I relented when he said he would take on all the details and work to clean out the building and set everything up.
And now they are here.
At 7am last Thursday the post office called "Your chickens have arrived." THE CHICKS WERE MAILED! And they did not arrive in a nice plastic heated or padded box with "Live Animals" stamped in red. They arrived in a pathetic cardboard box, the kind you would mail socks or a shirt in but not LIVE CHICKS. We were also shocked to count not ten chicks, like my hubby had ordered, but 24 [one was D.O.A. and being trampled by his kin]. Apparently, companies do not ship fewer than 25 chicks as that is the critical number for the chicks to generate enough body heat to survive the mailing (how about a better box?). Or course our additional chicks are not the friendly, egg-laying kind. They are the cock-fighters, the noise-makers, the mean-tempered chickens. They are the MALES. As we are about as inexperienced as one can be in the area of raising chickens, you cannot tell the difference between a male and female chicken. We must wait until the roosters get the feathers (read: 6 weeks). So roosters and hens (a "pullet" at this age) all get to be together. After Dillon and Baxter got a brief sniff, we took the chicks to the chick corral.
What is a chick corral, you may ask? Chicks need four basic things 1) food 2) water 3) warmth and 4) protection from a multitude of predators. The chick corral is an enclosed area that forces the chicks to stay focused on eating and drinking. Also, as the corral includes a heat lamp and wood shavings, the chicks are not subjected to drafts or other nasty elements. A constant temperature of 95 degrees must be maintained (how tropical!). Finally, the chick corral is one barrier of many intended to keep away dogs, cats, rats, other birds, coyotes, Rabid Republicans, skunks, mountain lions, hawks, and small children who may want to eat or harm the chicks.
With the chicks moved into the chick corral, we were able to do a full assessment. [I would also like to note that I am a person who does not like birds. I think they are dirty and annoying and..well, I just don't like them. So moving the chicks from the box to the corral required a deep breath and fast handling] We noticed two of the chicks looked..well, drunk. The legs of one were all splayed out under its body and the other couldn't stand properly. Of course we instantly referred to The Book which confirmed our next step: cull the chicks.
What is culling? Culling is a nice way of saying that you must play God and eliminate the weak or sick. If you do not cull your flock, all the birds may become ill or learn how to be a 'weak' chicken rather than an honor roll chicken. I will have nothing to do with culling or any other bloody tasks. My hubby will assume all nasty responsibilities. In return, we have chickens and I promise not to name them.
While The Book talks about culling, it does not offer any tips or strategies as how one is to humanely kill a one-ounce chick. Culling Technique #1: Smash chick head in with rock. Advantages: Chick is dead. Disadvantages: Chick's brains pop out through eyeballs and fly onto the ground. Culling Technique #2: Cut chick's head off with a kitchen knife. Advantages: Chick is dead. Disadvantages: Chick is very small and so the aim is difficult; wife does not like kitchen knives being used for such a purpose. The culling techniques will require practice and improvement (not by me!).
And then there were 22 chicks. Day 1 of life with chickens.
9 comments:
I was reading this, the whole time wondering "Will she mention the rock-brains thingg?" and then you did. I F-ing love you. Also, I asked your hubby if I could name one and then eat it at Labor Day. Are we not allowed to name them even if we are comfortable naming and eating?
I am not allowed to name them. Naming = attachment. You can secretly name one but I cannot know about it. We've discussed a collective name. "Dubbaya" is a strong contender.
I've got it! My life's dream has finally been defined: I'm going to open a bar called The Chick Coral, where the temperature is always 95 degrees, and drinking is the primary purpose. However, I will not provide protection from predators.
Nevermind the fact that I've just described every bar in the world.
Culling technique #3: Set it free!! Ok, it might not survive, but you'll never know. Perhaps it will adopt street smarts and be adept at chick knife-fighting, as it fights its way through the prairie to a nice land filled with other reject baby chicks and will live to be an old rooster/hen. Eh? Eh?
i did not realize the possible implications of "chick corral." i like it! perhaps behind the chick corral we could employ the proposed third culling technique so that while you drink you can watch all the sick and deformed chicks run around..huh?!
I also read you can pop them in the freezer, shut them in a small plastic box and they will suffocate or something with helium and a cake tin which makes them pass out and then die. Or mash up a sleeping pill and feed it to them in applesauce. I hate to be reading up on such things but we have some hatchings eggs coming, (you cant get chicks posted in UK)and I know that not all may be ok, need to be prepared!
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LOL. The techniques are hilarious! Nice.
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